What drives me to help support others:
I spent my time hoping that someone would look beyond my behaviour and see the person [in trouble] underneath — THE ME.”
My desire to help comes from my own tough experiences, especially during my school years. On the outside, I seemed confident and popular, but inside I struggled with fear, doubt, isolation, and shame. Those years were hard and painful.
What made these feelings worse was the belief that I was alone, perhaps the only one in the world who felt this way. I wanted to talk to someone about my feelings, but I was too scared to reveal my true self unless the situation was just right… It never happened!
As a result, the scars from those internal struggles remained hidden within me into adulthood.
By default I started working with young people who showed challenging behavior. I believed that, like me, their behaviour often masked their true feelings, sending a message of danger, while underneath they cried out for help.
I spent 10 years supporting young men aged 8 to 25 from various backgrounds, including those at risk of exclusion, young offenders, and students with special educational needs. I designed and led programs like the Exploration and Time Out Project, Summer Activities for Young People, and The Prince’s Trust Volunteers Programme.
The last two years were spent at a high school in special measures, working with students in years 10 and 11 who were considered unmanageable. It was one of the most challenging yet rewarding experiences of my career, surrounded by ‘Mini Me’s’ all wearing masks.
As my journey continued, two colleagues and I started a successful company that became an alternative provision school. I soon realised that the responibilty of running a school was very different from working directly with young people! For me, hands-on work allowed me to show much more authenticity and genuine care and therefore, to deepen my understanding, I trained in therapeutic practice for three years. This process helped me uncover “THE ME” behind my own mask. The intense self-reflection during my training allowed me to confront and understand the childhood experiences that shaped and haunted me.
Today, with over 30 years of experience,
I support Young Men
I continue to assist young males (16 – 25 years) facing anxiety and social and emotional challenges who have reached a point in their lives where they recognise they need help to improve their circumstances.
I support Grown Men
Many men still carry a wounded inner child that affects their lives. Men can so easily choose ways to silence their inner child’s call for help rather than get in touch with their core courage and understand, and at times, perhaps even nurture it.
Offering Men the time, space and an opportunity to be seen and heard without judgment allows them to make sense of their world.
I support Mums.
Sometimes the help is simply guiding Mums to understand the boundaries between themselves and their sons. Often, Mums lose themselves in the demanding task of raising a boy into a “MAN2BE,” all by themselves. My role is to assist Mums in understanding their sons while helping them reconnect with their own identities.
Behaviour almost always signals something deeper. My approach is to create a safe, non-judgmental space to Reach and Relate, Challenge and Empower Men, Boys, and Mums. I believe this can be done through
- Men learning to listen to themselves.
- Men sharing insights with and listening to each other.
- Men supporting Boys – MAN2BE.
- Men sharing their own insights with single Mums who are raising Boys/MEN2BE.
If we want to help the next generation of Men, we must first be willing to look honestly at ourselves.
Being willing to remove our own mask is the first step.